Parenting is one of the hardest and most fulfilling jobs one can ever take on, it is the largest role a human being can ever play in the sense that no matter what you are it the way you eat, walk or even talk this little human is looking up to you. Parenting can be a task as kids vary how you raised your first child might not be how you will raise your second. Now coming from an African home we all know how our parents can be, parents that never tell you I love you but say it a million times in their actions that most times does not look like love.
I think this is where the problem lies for us Africans, for example, one of my friends had depression and she told her parents, they asked how she could since she has a roof over her head, her school fees paid, how on God’s earth could she be depressed!. African parents need to treat their children as human beings because they have a habit of ownership towards them with words like “are you not my child? Didn’t I bring you into this world?” We need to stop normalising this dysfunctional and borderline abusive situations because for centuries it has been like that, we should dismantle this disastrous mentality and grow from it. I know of parents that abuse their children for not scoring an A in school. Will beating that child make them get an A next time in school? No, it’s just going to create fear in the child’s mind and further isolate them from the parent.
In the same breath, I would talk about ways we can parent better. First, parents need to listen and talk to their children, communication should be the most important tool in the upbringing of a child creating an open dialogue where you both can dish out your opinions tell your kids what you want them to do and why we should avoid saying words like “because I am the parent and I said so” make your communication skills clearer. Second, parents need to boost their children’s self esteem, praise them for doing things no matter how small or big avoid rising your voice at them kids are not animals they will listen. I also wish parents will appreciate their daughters more. Mothers I have noticed a generational cycle of verbal/emotional abuse between mothers and daughters I am a victim and I promise to check myself if I ever catch myself doing that to my daughters.
My name is Asiya Aliyu, I’m 20years old I attend Mary Travis nursery and primary school and then went off to capital science academy Abuja. I’m currently a student searching for a career in Law.